scar dat never heals
Monday, January 08, 2007 | 4:55 AM |
haix . todae simply . . . haix ! friday forget theres maths homework . so . . . left the maths tb in the locker . early this morning , waited for huixin . waited for around 10 mins den went to take the bus le . tot dat she went to school liao . but when i reached the sch , she was not around .
during the short 10 mins of the bus journey , i think . i really hate being alone . those lonely feelings are terrible . but i should be glad dat i still have huixin , samantha , peilian all dem . and of cos my cousins . i keep thinking of , what is the use of having a xu wei de frenz ? to lie to urself ? i rather i have no frenz at all . now i realise i had been always stupid . secretly hurt by ppl . and i actually dont know anything .
at first , tj told me dat shu hua had always been shooting ppl and hurt a lot of ppl . i didnt believe her den . i merely tot dat it was her over-senstive . now i believe everything . some of the ppl , dey treated u very well . but deep in their heart , they hated u . more den what u can imagine . i hate this . !!!
y must ppl be hurting ? i rather remain in the sweet memories . rather getting hurt . i had tot of this b4 many times . i hate to be a grown -up . in primary school , everything is as innocent as what i tot . but in secondary , i feel dat dey always believe dat if u wan to survive in sec sch , u have the means to hurt ppl ? what kind of thing is this ? is hurting ppl dat fun ?dont dey know dat some ppl . when they are hurt , the scar always remains . ALWAYS . (time can help to heal all injuries ) i dont believe dat ANYMORE !
ppl become complicated as dey grow up . izzit a MUST ? i am really speechless . what to say ? in dat moment , everything seems so faraway . so i really understand ? maybe i just simply dont understand at all . i hate growing up . is this the process dat everyone must go through ? i hate this ! tonight there is no stars . i really miss stars . they are always so beautiful . helps me to forget all troubles . stars .
during the short 10 mins of the bus journey , i think . i really hate being alone . those lonely feelings are terrible . but i should be glad dat i still have huixin , samantha , peilian all dem . and of cos my cousins . i keep thinking of , what is the use of having a xu wei de frenz ? to lie to urself ? i rather i have no frenz at all . now i realise i had been always stupid . secretly hurt by ppl . and i actually dont know anything .
at first , tj told me dat shu hua had always been shooting ppl and hurt a lot of ppl . i didnt believe her den . i merely tot dat it was her over-senstive . now i believe everything . some of the ppl , dey treated u very well . but deep in their heart , they hated u . more den what u can imagine . i hate this . !!!
y must ppl be hurting ? i rather remain in the sweet memories . rather getting hurt . i had tot of this b4 many times . i hate to be a grown -up . in primary school , everything is as innocent as what i tot . but in secondary , i feel dat dey always believe dat if u wan to survive in sec sch , u have the means to hurt ppl ? what kind of thing is this ? is hurting ppl dat fun ?dont dey know dat some ppl . when they are hurt , the scar always remains . ALWAYS . (time can help to heal all injuries ) i dont believe dat ANYMORE !
ppl become complicated as dey grow up . izzit a MUST ? i am really speechless . what to say ? in dat moment , everything seems so faraway . so i really understand ? maybe i just simply dont understand at all . i hate growing up . is this the process dat everyone must go through ? i hate this ! tonight there is no stars . i really miss stars . they are always so beautiful . helps me to forget all troubles . stars .
truth is always hurting .
i rather be kept in the dark .
maybe i am not as strong as what i tot .
the scar dat never heals .
always in my heart .
todae had our first F&N class . the first thing teacher told us was . "if u think F&N is all abt cooking and eating , u all wrong ! totally wrong ! " haha . todae the first class . actually i think F&N quite suit me . compared to other subjects ? our chem teacher is mr ong . maybe he is quite nice de . haix . bookshop gave me the wrong books . i tick combined chem . dey gave me pure chem . haha . den i told tj a joke . "i know i look like i am very clever , but i dont wish to study PURE . " haha . den maths lesson ok . social studies teacher didnt came to class todae . the first lesson is miss tan relieve . second is mr teo . after school got meeting . SHORT meeting . haix .
dey went to mac first . huixin waited for me . den she help me exchanged my books . ^^ ( got jealous ?) however , there is no workbook . sure die . tmr must hand in . den went to mac alone . when i reached there , around 2.50 ? dey almost finish eating le . should say TJ going to finish eating le . cos all of them cant stand the spicy in the dunno what new product . so gave tj eat . poor tj . haha . sianz . mac so many gangsters todae . u know my pattern la . so scared to de zun dem . so dun dare to look at dem . after dat around 4 sth went back . waited for the bus . junhao , sam and me . haha . chit-chat at there . missed 4 bus ?
first bus is because i say the pic to ugly . den dont wan to go aboard . second is because got a advertisment on dang ? pawn . so dun wan . i keep saying i want to sit the bus dat got a ribena on top . haha . den junhao , sam and me at dere keep chit-chatting . fun arhs . 3rd bus is because it is black ? haha . keep giving excuses . the 4 bus id because too slow le . then 5th bus den went aboard . hehe . naughty me . ^^ i only wanna to spent more time chit chat with dem ma . *pout* ^^ . den went home early . nth to do . brother also don let me watch bump off lover . ai sha 17 . so went to study . study until half , slept .
hehe . sound like a pig arhs ? now i know y dey all keep saying me pig . like to slp . but at least i not like helen . call herself xiao zhu zhu . doesnt suit her at all . haix . just now at maple . i asked whether skyheaven92 is shu hua anot ? cos shu hua acc many ppl use . so asked lor . den b4 i going to say what i wanna say , she said . "y ? wanna scold me AGAIN ar ? " what i say lor !!! haix . tmr got geo and mt . my favourite lesson arhs . but only 2 lesson . F&N also . hate it !!!! tmr height and weight . so scared go ffc . scared ~ hope i dont go in .
假扮天使的恶魔
虚伪是多么的可怕
我真的很怕再一次受到伤害
我不想这样
难道到头来， 还是这个结局吗 ？
现实总是可怕的 。
signing off,
min